Dive Right In with Gwyn Brown from Tauranga Dive

There are many unwritten rules in our society. Dress up for a job interview, remove all metal from your face, have a bath – you know, stuff like that. These rules can only be learned two ways. The hard way, which we all know about. And the easy way, which is by listening to someone else. If you are a teenager, then there's just the one way really.

Here's two examples, both involving diving and stupidity. My favourite kind.

Don't tell Mrs Brown you are going diving when you have already left.

Don't take your maximum allowable amount of scallops and crayfish when you only need enough for a feed.

You see these two rules are exactly the same. They both involve making a choice rather than breaking the law. If you take 20 scallops and six crayfish every time you go diving, and so does everyone else on your boat, and you go out every weekend, and so do hundreds of other divers. Then it's not long before we are all moaning about it being hard to find a feed. Just take enough for what you need, not what you want to brag about. Frozen crays taste bloody awful anyway.

The other example I gave wasn't really a choice. I did pondered it afterwards though at the same time I pondered how small the dog kennel had really gotten, and it was leaking too. Must get that fixed before winter or the dogs and I are going to be cold as well as wet. Bad evolution decision for humans, giving up on lots of body hair. Reminder to self…don't comment on Mrs Brown's body hair.

Alrighty then, let's go over some more unwritten rules of diving, unless you are a teenager in which case just skip to the end bit.

Don't launch your boat and then leave it unattended for an hour at the boat ramp when it's busy. Hard to believe, but this will annoy other boat owners…go figure.

Don't steal crays from someone else's cray pot, even if you did take a bearing on it and managed by accident to find it underwater.

If you are the only one to catch crays on someone else's boat, share them. It's a long swim back.

Don't forget to put the first fish/crayfish/scallop back as a gift to Tangaroa, or Poseidon, depending on who you believe to be the god of the sea. With 3500 gods, one of them has to be real I guess.

Don't pull your dive buddy's mask off because you think he needs to practise replacing it. Trust me, it's still not funny.

Don't tell the MAF guy you didn't know the size or number limits. They don't think it's funny either.

Don't forget to check twice that you have everything before leaving home.

Don't blame the dive shop when your tank O-ring leaks; we don't own the O-rings, you do.

Don't tie fish you've just speared to your weight belt; unlike MAF, sharks do find this funny.

Don't drive your boat right next to someone else's when they are fishing, this is probably the most unfunny thing you can do.

And finally, teenagers who have skipped ahead. It's good to make mistakes and learn the hard way, just try not to do it twice.